On this Memorial Day weekend, I’m thankful for all the brave men and women who have given their lives for our country. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to fight in a war. The physical and emotional stress must be so overwhelming.
I was in high school during the Viet Nam War. When I turned 18 and registered for the draft, I had mixed emotions. One side of me wanted to fight for my country; the other side of me was afraid of getting wounded or killed. Those who were drafted didn’t have a choice. If you were drafted, you had to report and many ended up in Viet Nam.
I remember receiving my draft number. It was 99. Back in those days, they drew days of the year out of a hat. They assigned a number to you based upon how they chronologically pulled those dates. So, if your birth date (month and day) was drawn first, you would have a draft number of 1. If your birth date was drawn last, you would have a draft number of 365. With my number of 99, that meant I was almost guaranteed to be drafted and would probably end up in Viet Nam. Shortly after receiving my number, however, the draft went into “Standby Mode”. That meant they were no longer actively drafting people but rather placing them on standby wherein they could call you into the military if needed.
By this time the war was coming to a close and all our soldiers were starting to come home. Coming home was different for this war. Usually when a war was over, soldiers returned to the U.S. greeted with parades and appreciation. This war was different. We hadn’t won it; we simply withdrew our forces. The soldiers that came home, many of them heroes, never received any recognition. Instead, they were looked down upon. There had been some bad players during the Viet Nam War where innocents were killed. The Viet Nam War was also known for drugs. Many soldiers were introduced and succumbed to them. Instead of a hero’s welcome when they returned home, they were often looked at as criminals or drug addicts.
As in any war, many suffered mentally and emotionally from what they saw and experienced. Today we call this PTSD, but back then we not only didn’t have a name for it, we ignored it completely. Those that suffered were left to suffer on their own.
When I was 14, I used to go to a local playground to play baseball and basketball. There was a local family with several boys I’d often play with. They had an uncle who had been a sports stand-out in high school. He would often play with us and teach us some of the important aspects of the games. He was a mentor to all of us. He was a super nice guy. He was drafted and sent to Viet Nam. When he returned from Viet Nam, he wasn’t the same person. He’d no longer play sports with us, he’d just watch. When we’d ask him for tips on how to improve our game, he’d just tell us we were doing fine on our own. This once very clean-cut young man now sported long straggly hair and an even stragglier beard. He no longer cared about his appearance and would often wear the same clothes day after day.
Things got even worse for him when his brother was killed in Viet Nam. He quit coming to the playground and, even when he did, he didn’t want to talk to anyone. He didn’t have any motivation to find a job. He lived with and off of his mother. He shut down. I don’t know if he was on drugs. I didn’t know the signs of what to look for. All I knew was he wasn’t the same person he used to be.
This is supposed to be a blog about Myasthenia Gravis. So, what does the draft and the Viet Nam War have to do with MG? I told you the story about a friend who had shut down after returning from war. Many people with MG also shut down. Having a chronic illness and struggling daily with the aches, the pain, the frustration of having MG plays with your mind.
You only have two choices: you can shut down or you can stand up to MG and fight the mental side of this disease. You can let it control you and make your family watch as you become the shell of the person you once were, or you can take control and focus on not letting MG define you.
I choose the latter. I see myself as very blessed. While there are some things I struggle to do, for the most part I can do nearly anything I choose. I can focus on the negative or I can focus on the positive. I will continue to focus on the positive because the rewards are so much better. If you’re suffering from MG, don’t let it control your life. Look at all the challenges it presents you as simply that: Challenges. Find a way to get through them or around them and do something with your life. Maybe you can blog. Maybe you can do public speaking and spread the word about MG. Maybe you can inspire others. Maybe you can spread kindness and caring to others. There are things you can do. You just need to find the method that works best for you. By focusing on helping others, we forget about our aches and pains, we forget about what we can no longer do. Instead, we focus on all that we can accomplish.
About that guy that returned from Viet Nam? Eventually he quit coming to the playground altogether. I don’t know what ever happened to him. He just disappeared. If you have MG, don’t disappear. Make a difference.