Kindness, With Common Sense

Following my last post on “Kindness”, my friend Peter responded with a one phrase comment: Matthew 6:3-4. Those verses say: “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

How right Peter was. Just like the grocery store owner did for those little boys in need, he kept his deed between them. God saw what he was doing and that it came from the heart. The store owner was rewarded by being remembered by those boys.

I’ve been talking a lot about giving and kindness lately, but I also want you to remember that you must take care of yourself. I’ve been guilty of this most of my life, but now that I have Myasthenia Gravis, I’m finally learning. In my younger years, I would run myself ragged trying to do everything anyone asked. I didn’t want to let anyone down. Instead, I would sometimes wear myself down to the point of weakening my immune system and getting sick.

I’ve had to learn that sometimes it’s okay to say “no” to a request, as long as you do so with kindness.

If you’ve ever flown, you know the flight attendants make an announcement at the beginning of each flight. Many people ignore them completely, but they wouldn’t be going through that drill unless it was important. One portion of their announcement tells you that if oxygen masks should drop from the ceiling of the plane, to put on your mask first, before helping children or anyone else who needs assistance. That’s because if you pass out, there will be no one available to help the child.

That seemed counterintuitive to me for many years. It felt that putting myself first would be selfish, but then I finally realized if I passed out, I wouldn’t be able to help them anyhow. For that reason, their advice about installing your mask first made a lot of sense.

With MG, I get worn down. When that happens, I have learned that my first priority has to be to take care of myself. I’m not doing anyone any good if I get so weak that I’m not able to help anyone, or worse yet, have a myasthenia crisis or succumb to an illness that could take my life. It’s not being selfish; it’s being smart.

When you get tired or weak, you have to make time to take care of yourself, even if that means having to say “no” to someone else. As long as it’s done honestly and infrequently, people will understand. With that said, having MG should never be used as an excuse to just get out of doing something you don’t want to do. In those situations, you have to be man or woman enough to be honest about why you’re refusing a request.

There’s a balance that must occur between kindness and taking care of yourself. If you sprinkle your kindness with a little common sense, you’ll be fine. Do what you can for anyone who needs you, but make sure you’re watching out for and taking care of yourself, as well.

You’re not helping anyone if you’re no longer around.