Have you ever had one of those bad days where your Snowflake symptoms were in full bloom, yet you had to interact with others? I’ve had a few of those. In one occurrence, the symptoms started appearing while I was at the grocery store. I was picking up items on my list and placing them in the cart when I could feel my eyelids begin drooping more than usual. I started getting a little short of breath with only the minor activity of walking around the store. I found myself having to wipe the drool from the corner of my mouth. Worst of all, when I went to the checkout and the checker asked me if I had found everything I needed, my response came out raspy and hoarse. The checker looked at me as if I was a leper. I’m sure they wondered if I was sick and infectious. Thankfully, the conversation ended, she rang me up, I paid and took my groceries to my car.
No, Myasthenia Gravis is not infectious, but it can be a little scary to look at if you’re not familiar with our crazy disease.
I realized I can’t do anything to keep the symptoms from appearing (except taking my medications as directed, which helps, but doesn’t completely stop break-throughs), but I can control how I react or even appear to others. I decided to try something new if I ever experienced this situation again.
Sure enough, it happened. I was at a restaurant, halfway through my meal, when the symptoms occurred. I probably appeared pretty normal to the waitress when she took my order, but now when she came back to see if I needed anything else, she found a man with droopy eyelids, speaking raspy and hoarse. I could see the surprise in her face. She was seeing a transformation right in front of her eyes. Was I going to grow hair on my face and turn into a werewolf? Was I going to become a sinister ghoul capable of scaring little children? No, I was becoming the side of me that MG likes to torment.
To quickly eliminate her fear, I decided to overcome it with kindness. I complimented how much I appreciated the efficient way in which she had served me. I told her the food was delicious and how much I always enjoyed coming to this restaurant. I told her I very much appreciated her kindness. Suddenly, the feared look in her eyes let up and she broke into a smile. I wasn’t the ogre she was talking to; I was a kind old man. She began looking at me differently.
My theory was proven. Myasthenia Gravis is not infectious, we all know that, but I now confirmed that kindness IS infectious and it can change a situation immediately.
The lesson I learned has stayed with me when dealing with people I don’t know, but now I’m trying to expand its application.
When I have an outbreak of symptoms, it’s so easy for me to become grumpy and short with the loved ones around me. I guess I kind of took it for granted that they would tolerate my behavior. They shouldn’t have to. When I get grumpy, that’s when I need to exude kindness the most. I don’t need to allow Myasthenia Gravis to control me. I can’t control its symptoms, but I can control how I react to them. I needed to learn how to treat people kind regardless of how I’m feeling. I’m going to get better at that.
I learned one other thing. When I force kindness, the ogre inside of me quickly gives up. When I am kind to others, I begin to feel better. Not only that, but the kindness I give to others is infectious and I receive kindness in return.
Perhaps this is one of the important lessons I’ve learned on my journey with MG. Myasthenia Gravis is not infectious, but kindness is. Adopt this attitude and watch how quickly it changes your life.