Have you ever had a memory pop into your head out of nowhere? We’re about to enter a season where memories will play a huge role, but we have to be careful to handle them appropriately.
They say when a memory surfaces unexpectedly, it often signals that something in your environment or emotional state has triggered it, even if you’re not consciously aware of what that is or where it came from. These memories usually arise due to a sensory cue like a smell, a sound or seeing something that triggers the memory. It can be an emotional parallel between past and present experiences.
Sometimes random memories reflect things we haven’t fully processed or emotions we might still be holding on to. They can also be reminders from our subconscious about lessons or experiences that might be relevant to our current situation, nudging us to reflect, to learn, or of which to find closure.
As we move past Halloween and proceed towards Thanksgiving, we’re about to be bombarded with everything Christmas. The stores have already begun putting up their Christmas displays and there are sales galore warning us if we don’t buy a particular item today, we’re going to miss out on the absolute lowest price. Even TV ads have started bombarding us with Christmas.
As we move into this season, you may find you have a lot of old memories trigger into your mind. Some will be good and some not so good. How we deal with them is key to how much we will enjoy Christmas this year.
When we remember a good memory, its warmth sings to us. We’d like to keep that warmth going, so we develop traditions. Sometimes developing traditions is a good thing, but sometimes even traditions can keep us from trying anything new.
As you well know, there are a lot of Hallmark Christmas movies being watched in our house. Many of those involve memories and how people are trying to either relive or run away from a previous time in their lives. The best thing about Hallmark movies is they always end happily. Life doesn’t always guarantee a happy ending.
I’ve found that when people try to hang onto the past to the point where they’re unwilling to experience anything new, that’s when trouble occurs. It’s great to have traditions, it’s good to reminisce about the good old days, but sometimes we need to remember that times have changed and things don’t always have to be exactly like they were in the past. Sometimes we have to be flexible enough to just enjoy memories and then let them go for now. They’ll probably resurface again sometime, but we don’t have to try so hard to make everything exactly the same as it once was.
Sometimes we have bad memories surface. Holding onto bad memories is never a good idea. Most certainly, we need to learn from whatever event caused the bad moment in our life, but we can’t spend our life dwelling on what happened. Sometimes we have to just chalk it up to experience, let it go and move forward. Dwelling on the past will only ruin our present and perhaps maybe even our future.
Letting go of bad memories isn’t easy. Sometimes we have it in our minds that we need to find closure. That’s when we get into trouble because closure can mean so many different things. If we work too hard to find closure, it often prevents us from enjoying the present. Wouldn’t it be better just to recognize that the event happened in our life, that we learned from it and then let it go? Of course it would, but it’s not always easy.
Another solution, and undoubtedly a better one, is to give it to God. When a bad memory plagues us, that’s when we need to turn to the Lord and ask Him to help us let it go. When we give it to God, it’s no longer on our shoulders; it’s no longer our burden to bear. He encourages us to give our burdens to Him. Sometimes it takes more than one attempt. I’ve given things to God only to find myself still worried about it a few minutes later. That means I didn’t really give it to Him. I had good intentions, but I failed in my follow through. God is patient and forgiving. When we fail, we just need to keep trying until we get it right.
So, why am I talking about memories in this blog? It’s so easy for us with Myasthenia Gravis or other chronic condition to try to live in the past. We focus too much on how we can no longer do some of the things that we used to do. We even fall into the trap of thinking we can no longer enjoy events, like Christmas, as well as we used to. That’s not true at all. We can learn new ways to enjoy them.
We don’t need this Christmas to be exactly like our Christmases in the past. While it’s okay to honor tradition, we have to make sure we don’t let traditions prevent us from experiencing and enjoying new things. Decorate, plan your events, enjoy your memories of the past, but don’t let them get in the way of enjoying this year’s Christmas. How many times have families fought while decorating the tree because a certain ornament isn’t exactly in the same spot as it’s always been in years past? Silly little things like that can ruin an enjoyable time. Who knows, that ornament might even look better in another spot. Don’t let memories and tradition prevent you from enjoying new things that one day may create new memories or become new traditions.
If you’re plagued by bad memories this Christmas, give them to God. What happened in the past, happened. You can’t change any of that. While we can make sure we don’t repeat the same mistakes, we can’t dwell on something we’re unable to change. Give it to God and move your mind onto bigger and better things. Appreciate the days when you used to feel better and get around better, but don’t let memories of those days ruin your Christmas or anyone else’s.
You have MG, it doesn’t have you.