I read an article recently written by a psychiatrist specializing in helping women with acceptance of their bodies. She unexpectedly decided to try plastic surgery to “refresh” her body after having three kids. She said the decision came out of no where and it was almost as if a wave (i.e., social media and advertising) had picked up her body and pulled her along this path. She kept telling herself she was perfectly okay with her current body, but apparently, she was not as she succumbed to the pressure of wanting the “perfect” body.
I won’t go into details, but what the psychiatrist found out after all this surgery, was she didn’t feel any different. She looked different, but the areas of her body she once viewed as flaws still made her uncomfortable, even after having them surgically sculpted to perfection. In other words, it really wasn’t how her body looked, it was how she thought her body appeared to others. Where she once worried that others might think her breasts had sagged, she now worried they would think she had undergone surgery to have them fixed.
Isn’t it strange the depths we go to in attempt to appear “acceptable” by others?
The lesson from this story is not how this woman’s body made her feel; it was about how seeking acceptance can cause us to come to some very inaccurate conclusions.
This got me thinking about those of us with Myasthenia Gravis and how concerned we become when others see our symptoms. I admit, I get embarrassed when my voice grows weak and hoarse, making others having to lean in to hear what I’m saying. I get self-conscious when I catch them glancing at my drooping eyelid when we’re talking (yes, I’m one of those where one eyelid droops further than the other). I don’t like when others see me having to use my hands to help me up out of a chair or how my first few steps are a bit unsteady until my muscles catch up to my brain. These are all signs of my condition I try to hide. But why? Because somehow we’ve equated being like everyone else is the norm and differences make us somehow less acceptable to others.
The need to feel accepted runs deep in each of us. As children, we want to feel part of a group. Being ignored or ostracized can be quite devastating. In junior high, we want so badly to become part of the “cool kids” that we will do almost anything to achieve it, but here’s the problem. Being accepted into any group, whether it’s the “cool kids” or the “popular kids” is usually not within our control. It’s decided by others.
That’s why there are specialized psychiatrists who help people with acceptance of their own bodies. That’s also why at least one of those psychiatrists succumbed to feeling they needed to become perfect for others.
Don’t you wish you could go back to junior high or high school and relive those years knowing what you know now? If so, you’d realize the best way of attracting friends is by just being yourself. People will like you for who you are when you’re authentic. And those that don’t like you aren’t worth the effort to attempt to win them over.
We all need to transfer this lesson into our current lives. The best you is the one where you’re just being yourself. It doesn’t matter if your boobs sag if your heart is admired by others. It doesn’t matter if I show symptoms of Myasthenia Gravis, as long as I am true to myself and genuinely care about others. Those traits are what people see, not the droopy eyelids or hoarse voice. People want to see the me inside of me. I just need to allow that person to shine through.
God gave me this gift of life. I can decide to spend it worried about what others might think or I can enjoy it by surrounding myself with people who accept me for who I am. It’s my choice.
God never said life wouldn’t have challenges. What He promised is that He would always be with us to help us through. When I focus on enjoying the life God has given me, I don’t have time to wallow in worry or pity. When I let my light shine, I not only enjoy life, but I become a beacon for others.
Let your light shine through. You’re perfect the way you are. Isn’t it time to start believing it?