You can’t do it alone.
In most of my blogs, I encourage people with Myasthenia Gravis to be brave, strong, courageous, and even independent. Those are all good things. The practicality is, however, you can’t do it on your own.
We often hear the phrase “It takes a village”. That phrase originated from an African proverb that talks about how it takes a village to raise a child. It takes many people to provide a safe, healthy environment for children, where children are given the protection they need to develop and flourish, and to be able to realize their hopes and dreams.
“It takes a village” holds true for those of us with Myasthenia Gravis, as well. We need a village that provides doctors to treat us, caregivers to help us out, and family and friends to love us and let us know we are needed. When we try to go it alone, we find the task is just too great.
I’m one of those people who tries to hold my emotions and thoughts inside. I used to think it was the brave and noble thing to do. I have only recently learned that holding things inside only leads to trouble. They weigh on you, weaken you and eat away at you.
It’s not only okay to share your thoughts and emotions with others; it’s courageous.
I’ve learned that when I hold things inside, I’m actually being cowardly. Subconsciously, I’m trying to hide my emotions. I guess I hope if I repress them and don’t think about them, they will go away. That’s not what happens. Instead of going away, they fester. Sooner or later, they resurface and the wound becomes deeper and wider. If I had just talked to someone about what I was feeling, I may have been able to head it off, but instead I chose to repress it and eventually I had to pay the price.
I’ve learned when I need help, whether it’s physically or emotionally, there are numerous people willing to pitch in, if only I give them the chance. There are things I can’t handle on my own and that’s when I need to reach out to that village.
It’s a fine balance for all of us with Myasthenia Gravis. We can reach out for help too much and become a victim; or, we can fail to reach out when we really need help and become foolish. So, where’s the line?
That’s where we need to listen to our bodies and our minds.
Yesterday, I was sawing off a small limb on a tree that needed pruning. I was more than half-way through when I suddenly became weak and began shaking. Normally, I would have just continued, pushing through the weakness until the job was done, but that can be dangerous. When you’re weak, especially when using tools, mistakes can lead to injury. Worse yet, your body could be telling you it has reached it’s limit and going any further could cause harm.
I’ve learned the hard way that pushing through what your body is trying to tell you can lead to bad things. This time, however, I was smart enough to listen and asked for help. I stopped, turned the saw over to my wife, and stood back while she finished the job. (I say I stood back; in actuality, I was telling her how she was doing it all wrong. Will I ever learn????)
When you feel your body becoming weak, when you feel your emotions boiling up, that’s when it’s time to get help. That’s when it’s time to reach out. That’s when it’s time to ask the village for help. They will. Even if you criticize them for how they’re doing it, they will help.
Don’t be a Greg. Realize you don’t have to do everything on your own. Reach out when you need help. Appreciate, don’t criticize, their assistance. And, above all, thank God that there are people in your village who will protect you and be there for you when you need them the most.