When people get diagnosed with something significant, a host of emotions flow through their minds and bodies. When I received my confirmed diagnosis on December 15, 2023, I didn’t experience fear or anxiety. I experienced relief.
For over 25 years I had been dealing with being “Suspect for Myasthenia Gravis”. Being “Suspect” means it appears you have it, but there isn’t enough information to make a confirmed diagnosis. Most of this was my fault. As I had alluded to in a previous post, I made the decision not to go through further testing and I spelled out the reason for my decision in that previous post. Twenty-five years later, things have changed. With all the new markers and tests, MG is more readily diagnosed, and I no longer had to worry about pre-existing conditions with insurance. The reason I felt relief upon receiving a confirmed diagnosis was, for the first time in 25 years, I knew it wasn’t all in my mind.
Yes, I had experienced drooping eyelids. I had experienced double vision. I had weakness in my legs. I frequently had difficulty swallowing and my voice became hoarse when I got tired. However, there was this little thing in the back of my mind that made me wonder if I was having symptoms because I was “Suspect for MG” or was it because I was “Suspect for MG” that I was having symptoms. See the difference?
With the wealth of information available on the internet, I knew what symptoms the typical MG patient displayed, and I was displaying them, but was it real or was it my mind playing tricks on me? It even got to the point where I would try to hide my symptoms or physically push myself beyond the point where I felt I should go just to show my mind that I wouldn’t allow it to control me. Most times when I did that, I paid for it later.
When I received a confirmed diagnosis, I wasn’t happy to hear it, but I was relieved. I no longer had to play games with my mind. In fact, my doctor told me I needed to start listening to my body, something I had not been very good at doing in the past. And now I could be placed on medication that would help.
Some people, when they receive news like this, immediately ask “Why me, Lord?” I never did this. Maybe it’s because I was living with “Suspect” for so many years. In the last couple of months, however, I’ve learned to ask “Why not me, Lord?” After all, I’ve lived a very blessed life. I’ve written books. I’ve led people. I’ve done public speaking. Now God is giving me the opportunity to use my talents, skill and abilities to help others by spreading awareness about MG. That’s how I’m going to spend the rest of my years, for as long as I’m capable of doing so. If I help just one person with MG, then it will all be worth it.
As I said before, I’m one of the lucky ones because with medicine, I can still enjoy most things in life. There are many with MG who are unable to do so. Why shouldn’t I be their voice? Why shouldn’t I do what I can to increase awareness about MG? Why shouldn’t I fundraise for more research and better treatments? You see, God has given me a mission and I’m up for the challenge. I’m ready to use the abilities he has given me for a cause he has assigned. I’ve already started with this blog. Who knows where it will go from here? ……..God does.