Commitments

I’m one of those people who sometimes makes too many commitments. I box myself into committing to do something and don’t leave a means with which to back out. I become committed; therefore, I must complete the task.

I’ve always believed integrity is the only thing a person will ever truly own. Everything else is only borrowed. It’s true that you lay down money to purchase something and it becomes “yours”, but even those things don’t last forever. You get to enjoy them while they last, but someday they will get worn out, broken, or become lost or forgotten. So, in that sense, you’ve only borrowed them.

Your integrity, which includes your commitments, lasts forever; or at least as long as it takes to have satisfied those commitments. If you commit to doing something, you did so of your own free will and if you have integrity, you will accomplish the task however hard it might be or however long it takes.

With Myasthenia Gravis, I’ve learned to become a little more careful about making commitments. I realize there may be times when my intentions to do something are strong, but my body may not be capable of doing it. Because integrity is so important to me, I can’t just throw my hands up and say, “It wasn’t my fault” when I’m unable to follow through on a commitment. I feel bad for having committed in the first place when there was even a chance I wouldn’t be able to honor it.

To protect against this, I often add a disclaimer by saying, “as long as I’m able.” Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, I still meet my commitments, but when that one time happens where I can’t, at least I know I let that person know in advance there may be a reason that would prevent me.

Then there’s the other side of the coin. I know people who refuse to ever commit to anything. That philosophy doesn’t seem to work for me because I hate to tell someone “no”. I enjoy helping people as much as I can and committing to helping someone helps put their worries at ease.

There’s one other type of person when it comes to commitments. That’s the type of person who never keeps their commitments. Oftentimes they blame this on, or hide behind, something else. Myasthenia Gravis can be used for this purpose and too frequently is. This is the kind of person who starts every sentence with “I can’t….” or “I couldn’t….”. They intended to do things for others and made commitments to do so, but they never seem to follow through and their reason for failure to do so is often “because I have Myasthenia Gravis”.

Let me give you some examples. “I wanted to come to your birthday party, but my MG symptoms flared up and I just wasn’t up to it.” Or maybe you’ve heard, “I meant to get back to you, but my MG made me so tired that I couldn’t do anything.” When people hear these excuses too many times, it’s not your intentions they question; it’s your integrity.

Don’t get me wrong, there will be times when your symptoms are so severe that you’re not able to honor a commitment or do something for others, but there should never be a time when you attempt to mask your lack of desire to honor your commitment as a result of MG.

Myasthenia Gravis isn’t an excuse for inaction. If anything, it’s a reason to act. When someone needs you or asks you to do something, you should never hide behind MG as an excuse. If you don’t want to do it, then have enough integrity to admit it, but don’t take the coward’s way out by blaming it on MG. Instead, show them how strong you are and how you control MG, not the other way around, by taking action and honoring commitments.

With that said, there will be times when you’re truly unable to meet a commitment because of MG and you shouldn’t feel bad about yourself if that happens. It’s beyond your control. No one expects you to be Superman or Wonder Woman. You have to be honest with others, but more importantly, you have to be honest with yourself. You can’t jeopardize your health because you made a commitment. If your intentions are good, but you’re physically or mentally not able, then that’s not breaking a commitment for the wrong reasons. That’s protecting yourself.

Here’s the thing: People will understand when you need to break a commitment for the right reasons, as long as it doesn’t consistently happen. If you’ve cried wolf too many times, people will catch on. In those rare occasions, however, where you physically or mentally aren’t able to keep your commitment, if you’re honest about it, people will understand.

Think about it this way: Would your friends or family prefer to have a hero who placed their health or life in jeopardy in order to keep a commitment you made them, or would they prefer that once in a while a commitment is broken if it means keeping you around? I know which one my family would prefer and you know what your family would choose, as well.