Tomorrow will mark a new milestone in my life. I will become a caregiver. My wife is having surgery on her shoulder, her RIGHT shoulder (emphasis on RIGHT). She is right-handed. She will be in a sling for several weeks. She has long hair. See where I’m going with this?
Not only will I need to take care of her during her recovery, but I am now the appointed hairdresser.
When my daughters were young and my wife was gone for some reason, my daughters always ended up with ponytails. That’s the easiest for dads to do. Nothing fancy. Pull the hair back, put in an elastic and then cover with a scrunchy. It would stay in just long enough for them to go out and play with their friends. When it fell out, the mothers of those friends, realizing my ineptitude, would do a proper ponytail that would stay in.
This will be a different story. This morning, I was summoned for my first lesson as my wife attempted to teach me how her hair needed to be dried. I watched carefully but didn’t take notes. That means when I have to do her hair on Friday, I will have forgotten all I was taught and a vicious cycle will erupt. First she will tell me I’m doing it wrong, to which I will get mad, which will make her even less patient, which will cause me to get even madder, which will force her to try to help me, which will make her shoulder hurt, which will make her even madder, which will make me more frustrated, which will end up in a loose ponytail that will fall out within a matter of minutes and with no other moms around to help me.
We’ll get through it, but not without frustration.
This made me think about those who are severely affected by Myasthenia Gravis and are unable to do their own hair, or much else. They have to rely on someone to help them. I will only be a hairdresser for a few weeks. Someone with MG or other chronic illness who is not able to take care of themselves is completely reliant on their caregiver every day, endlessly. Those caregivers have something I don’t possess… tolerance and patience.
Side note: I just realized why patients and patience sound the same; you can’t have one without the other.
Whether we realize it or not, we all have caregivers. While some may have and need professional in-house caregivers, some, like me, don’t need a professional. We have family and friends who help us out. In my particular situation, I do fine by myself most of the time, but there are times, like when I get extremely fatigued or catch a cold, where I need help. My caregivers are my family. They help me remember to take my medicines, caution me when I’m about to overdo it and put up with my naps and early bedtimes. They watch out for me.
This morning, unbeknownst to my daughter, my 2 year old granddaughter was playing with her mother’s cellphone and called me. She just wanted to check in with her “Pappy”. How cute is that? How lucky am I?
Let’s take a moment to thank all those caregivers out there who put up with us, watch out for us, take care of us, are patient with us and check in on us. It takes very special people and we don’t give them enough credit. Remember to thank your caregivers today. We’d be in a world of hurt without them.
Wish me luck!