Because I Need You

For those of us with Myasthenia Gravis and even family and friends, it’s sometimes overwhelming dealing with a chronic disease. Some with MG are in wheelchairs, some are on ventilators. Others of us get along pretty well until our symptoms return.

Yes, the symptoms are devastating for some and nuisances for others, but there’s alway that underlying concern we often don’t want to talk about. That concern is: what’s going to happen to me? None of us knows the answer to that. Our doctors can sometimes give us an idea, but even they don’t know for certain.

There is, however, someone who does know. God knows. He knows what we’ve been through, He knows what we’re going through now, and He knows what is yet to come. He’s where we need to be focusing. Only He can give us the strength and courage we need. Turn to Him.

It’s often tempting to wonder why God allowed this to happen in the first place. Why me? I don’t have an answer to that question, but God does. He may or may not share His plan with you immediately, but one day He will.

When I first started having symptoms many years ago, I struggled, I fought, I denied, I even rebelled. None of those things did any good. The only time I found relief was when I turned to God. This was a critical time in my life when my daughters were young and depended on me. When someone depends on you and you fear your ability to provide, that’s a pretty devastating place to be. I didn’t know where to turn, but I’m glad I turned to God. I went through some tough times back then, but God helped me through them. I was fortunate enough that He allowed me to go into remission for 20 plus years. I still had some symptoms, but most of my symptoms let up and some disappeared completely. He allowed me to provide for my family when they needed me the most. He let me continue with my life while He prepared me.

A few years ago, the symptoms came back. God was taking me into the next stage of my life. I had already retired and now I had more time on my hands to work on His plan. When I asked, “Why me?” God told me I was needed. He was now ready to put His plan in motion. I felt this compulsion to do something to help others with MG. I wasn’t sure how at first. I’m not wealthy, so I couldn’t donate millions of dollars to research. I wasn’t a celebrity, so I couldn’t go on tv and tell people my story of MG. I didn’t have a following of people to whom I could speak and inspire them to share MG awareness. What I had was an ability to write.

I’m not pretending to be some big author. Yes, I’ve written three books, but in total I’ve sold a little over 3000 copies altogether. Those books will never make me rich. They gave me experience.

When I decided to write this blog, or should I say God planted this seed in me to write this blog, I felt motivated, inspired, urgent. This is something I could do from my home, relatively inexpensively, and yet reach other people. I could share my experiences and maybe, just maybe, help someone with MG or inspire someone to share awareness.

I started out just sharing my new blog with family and friends. They’ve started sharing it with others and now I have even more readers. The Myasthenia Gravis Foundation of America is going to include one of my blogs in their July 11th release which hopefully will draw even more people to my blog. It’s beginning to snowball. I’m starting to turn snowflakes into snowballs. Maybe someday I’ll be able to turn them into snow people!

When I asked God the question, “Why me?” He said, “Because I need you.” That’s enough for me. I know He will continue to inspire my thoughts, continue to help me turn those thoughts into words, and continue to help me turn those words into blogs. I also know He will continue to help me through this illness. Even when times get tough, I know He has my hand.

How do I know it was really God talking? I’m not smart enough to come up with these ideas on my own. I didn’t even know how to blog, but He guided me. He had a plan.

If even one person is helped or if even one person knows more about MG today than they did yesterday, I’ll call that a success. Really, it’s not my success; it’s God’s success. Thanks for using me, God!