In my last blog, I mentioned the Santa tradition my wife and I have with our daughters. Today I’m going to tell you a little more about that tradition.
It all started 18 years ago when my daughters were in college. My wife and I had become empty-nesters and weren’t enjoying it. We began thinking about how our daughters were starting their own lives. We were excited for them, but at the same time we suddenly realized they were no longer children, they no longer needed or depended on us as they once had. They were now making their own decisions and no longer relying on the sage and profound wisdom of their parents.
That can be a difficult time for parents. To have invested so much into their children, only to turn them loose in the world, to allow them to make their own choices and fend for themselves. What if something happens to them? What if we aren’t there to protect them? Had we done all we needed to do to prepare them? Had we been good parents? What if they forget about us?
It was approaching Thanksgiving, which in my mind is the kickoff for Christmas. We had a lot of traditions we celebrated at Christmas, but this year was going to be different. Our daughters weren’t going to be home to participate. Who would decorate the tree? Who would put up all the decorations? Who would bake cookies? Suddenly, it was all left up to my wife and me.
I wanted to think of a new tradition we could all enjoy regardless of where my daughters happened to be. It had to be something of meaning and it had to bring back memories in the years to come. In my last blog I told you how physical items tend to help bring back memories because you can’t help but think of a person when you see them. For this reason, I knew it had to be something physical.
My mother-in-law used to always buy everyone a Christmas ornament and give it to them on Thanksgiving. It was her way of kicking off the Christmas season. I now realize those ornaments were part of her legacy. She always loved Christmas. We always enjoyed receiving our ornaments on Thanksgiving and they brought back memories of her each year as we hung them on our Christmas tree. It was a great legacy. My mother-in-law always seemed to have great ideas.
Playing off my mother-in-law’s concept, I came up with the idea to give each of our daughters a Santa figurine at Thanksgiving to help kick off their Christmas Season.
We started off the first year or so with any Santa figurine we found that looked cute and could be proudly displayed. Later that evolved to selecting Santas that represented a theme or something going on in their lives at that time. At first, the Santas were somewhat random. They were different styles and came from random manufacturers. Eventually we discovered Possible Dreams figurines and most of the figurines my wife and I have given since that time have come from the Possible Dreams collection.
So, here we are, eighteen years (and 18 Santas) later and my daughters curse me at Christmas. Not only is it a chore to unpack and display each of their Santas, but it’s an even bigger chore to pack them back away after Christmas. Besides, who has room in their house for that many Santas?
Why did I tell you about this tradition? In this second part of “A Bit of Yourself”, I wanted to give you an example of what not to do and point out how you must carefully choose your legacy. The book I described in Part 1 was a good idea. It’s not cumbersome, it doesn’t take a lot of effort to retrieve and store, it doesn’t take up a lot of room. Yet, it will provide memories for my grandson in the years to come.
The Santas, on the other hand, have gotten out of hand. They’ve become a burden. They require a tremendous amount of effort to unpack, display and repack. They take up a lot of space. They’re easily broken. My daughters haven’t let on that any of their Santas have been damaged or destroyed, but life happens, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there were some that haven’t survived.
So what does this have to do with the legacy you leave for your loved ones? You have to be careful the legacy you choose doesn’t become a burden. It shouldn’t require more effort than the joy it brings or the memories it recalls. Make it something that represents you, that recalls wonderful memories of you, that brings joy every time someone sees it. Make it from your heart.
As I stated in my last blog, Myasthenia Gravis is what you have, it isn’t who you are. Make sure the memories you leave your loved ones aren’t memories of you struggling with MG. That’s not who you are. Make sure you leave them memories of joy, of laughter, of love. MG doesn’t define you. Don’t let it define the memories you leave.
Will I keep on buying Santas for my daughters each year? You bet, but writing this blog has modified my thinking. It’s given me an epiphany. My tradition has become a burden. For that reason, I’ll continue to buy my daughters Santas for two more years. I’ll stop at 20 in the year 2025.
20 Santas, the last one coming in ’25. I just turned a burden into a memory that may last for many, many years, even after the figurines are gone.