Desperation

Early in the morning of New Year’s Day, there were two terror attacks launched on our country. One was the driver who mowed down people with his truck in New Orleans and the other that drove his truck under the canopy of the Trump Tower in Las Vegas and proceeded to blow it up. What leads a person to have so much hatred or become so desperate that they decide to destroy as many peoples’ lives as possible?

I don’t know if we’ll ever have an answer to that question. All I know is hatred and desperation can cause people to do some pretty desperate things.

Years ago, I worked with a guy who had a friend who had recently been diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease). His symptoms worsened very rapidly and within a very short period of time, he became confined to a wheelchair. His family was able to purchase him a motorized wheelchair and he still had enough control of his hand that he could manipulate the controls to get around. One day, he convinced his wife he would be okay alone while she made a quick trip to the grocery store. She debated with him, but finally gave in. As soon as she left, he rolled himself in his wheelchair out the door of his house, down the ramp over the stairs, drove his wheelchair down the driveway, out into the street, and made his way toward the river that was about a block away. When he was well, he used to enjoy going down to sit by the river. Watching the water flow was calming to him. When he made it to the dock, he proceeded to drive himself and his wheelchair off the end of the dock and into the river. His body was recovered about a mile downstream.

While I wouldn’t identify this scenario with hatred, it certainly confirms the level of desperation a person can reach when faced with extraordinary challenges.

I began wondering how deeply emotions and feelings can affect someone with Myasthenia Gravis and could they lead to desperation? Obviously, MG can significantly affect a person’s quality of life, but what about the emotional toll it can take? Frustration from physical limitations, chronic fatigue, pain, and the stress of navigating relationships and medical care can sometimes lead to feelings of anger or resentment. Over time, unresolved anger might even evolve into desperation or hatred, either directed outward towards others or inward towards oneself.

Let me back up a moment to explain something. I am in no way comparing the terror attacks or the desperation of the man with ALS with people who have Myasthenia Gravis. These were all extreme cases of people who had become desperate. They were all tragedies that I hope are never repeated. I merely want to use them as examples of extreme desperation and point out that desperation and hatred can occur in people with MG and we need to address those feelings before they end up hurting someone.

Why could MG patients feel pulled towards hatred or desperation?

1. Physical Limitations and Frustration – The loss of independence or difficulty performing everyday tasks can create a deep frustration or anger. Over time, these feelings may harden into resentment.
2. Social Isolation – MG patients often isolate themselves or feel alienated or misunderstood by friends and family who don’t grasp the condition’s severity. This isolation can lead to bitterness towards others.
3. Medical System Struggles – Navigating insurance, finding effective treatment, or dealing with dismissive healthcare providers can leave patients feeling powerless and angry.
4. Emotional Exhaustion – Chronic illness often leads to emotional fatigue, which can reduce the patient’s ability to manage feelings of anger or negativity.
5. Comparison to Others – Witnessing others living seemingly “normal” lives can trigger jealousy and resentment, further feeding into feelings of desperation or hatred.

So what can we do if we’re faced with these types of emotions?

1. Acknowledge the Emotions – Recognize the feelings and get help. Suppressing these emotions can make them worse.
2. Seek Support – Join MG support groups or connect with others living with MG. Sharing experiences can help reduce feelings of isolation and resentment.
3. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude – Techniques like meditation and gratitude journaling can shift focus from negative feelings to the positive aspects of life.
4. Engage in Therapy – Professional counseling or cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can provide tools for managing anger and reframing negative thoughts.
5. Channel Energy Positively – Use creative outlets like art, writing, or music to transform negative feelings into constructive energy.
6. Educate Loved Ones – Help family and friends understand MG and its impact. Feeling understood can alleviate resentment.
7. Set Realistic Goals – Break down activities into manageable steps, celebrating small victories to reduce frustration.
8. Focus on Advocacy – Engaging in advocacy for MG awareness can turn anger into motivation to create positive change.
9. Take Care of Physical Health – Managing symptoms effectively with the right treatments can reduce physical frustrations, indirectly improving emotional resilience.

It all comes down to this. We all experience negative thoughts from time to time. We just can’t allow those negative thoughts to smolder and cause anger, hatred and desperation. If you have MG or any other debilitating condition and are experiencing any of these feelings, then it’s time to have a talk with your doctor, your caregiver, or your family and friends. Head it off before it becomes worse. It’s okay to talk about what you are feeling; it’s not okay to take what you’re feeling out on others or yourself.

If you know of someone with MG or any other debilitating condition that is displaying any of these symptoms, then it’s time to get involved. So many people have confessed to seeing signs of desperation in their loved one before something tragic happened. Get involved early. It may not be an easy conversation and you risk driving that person away, but it’s critical to head these thoughts off before they become a real problem. You may even have to go over the person’s head and advise their doctor or caregiver of your observations and attempts to intervene.

Remember, remaining silent is never an option when you recognize signs of desperation in your loved ones. Do your part before someone gets physically or emotionally hurt. Desperation is real and desperate people react in desperate ways.