Are you getting tired of jokes yet? I hope not because we have a few more days. Besides, who doesn’t like a good joke?
Let me rephrase that: Who doesn’t like a joke (emphasis on “good” being removed). I never promised the jokes would be good. Here’s today’s joke:
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, you’ve got to help me. I think I’m a moth!”
The doctor looks at him curiously and replies, “I’m sorry, but you really should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why did you come to me?”
The man says, “Well, your light was on.”
Okay, so maybe that wasn’t the best joke, but it was appropriate for what we’re going to discuss today. I wanted to spend a little time talking about relationships with your doctors.
I’m very fortunate to have several really good doctors taking care of me here in Louisiana. The doctors I’m currently seeing are top notch and actually care about their patients. They’re not just in and out of the room during my appointments. They take the time to ask questions and actually listen to my responses. They also listen to my questions and respond, or at least get back to me if it’s something they need to clarify or research.
It wasn’t always the case where I’ve enjoyed my doctors. When I lived in another state, I had a cardiologist that would be in and out of the room in less than a few minutes. He rarely asked me any questions and he wasn’t too pleased if I had any questions for him. He’d simply run into the room, listen to my heart, and quickly exit, saying little or nothing. He’d change my medications without discussing why. I’d find out about the medication change when I went to pick up the prescription at the pharmacy. I’m in no position to question his knowledge or ability, but I felt he certainly was lacking in doctor-patient relationship. He was matter of fact, relied on his nurses to ask me questions and rarely ordered any kinds of tests. Even if I told him about an episode I had, he would shrug it off or change a medication instead of discussing what he felt could have possibly been the cause.
When I moved to Louisiana and began searching for a new cardiologist, I asked people who lived around me. Repeatedly I heard recommendations for a specific clinic of doctors. I made an appointment and pretty much rolled the dice as to which cardiologist in their group I would get. On my first appointment, my new cardiologist spent between 20-30 minutes with me. He asked all kinds of questions. I quickly learned my blood pressure wasn’t under control and the meds my previous doctor had prescribed, and I quote, “really aren’t used anymore”. He scheduled a few tests and discovered an issue my previous doctor had either missed or chose to ignore. Not only was this new doctor thorough, but you could tell he really cared about his patients. I had hit the jackpot!
On the MG side, as I had mentioned in previous blogs, I had been “Suspect for Myasthenia Gravis” for years and it had gone into remission. I had a few mild symptoms, but nothing for which I needed to see a doctor. That all changed a few months after having COVID-19. We were living in Louisiana at the time, when all of a sudden symptoms of Myasthenia Gravis started showing up and began to worsen. I made an appointment with my primary care physician who immediately referred me to a neurologist.
Just like my new cardiologist, my new neurologist was thorough and spent a great deal of time with me. He checked everything and ordered some blood tests, some which were repeats of tests I had taken some 35 years prior. These new blood tests also came back negative, but he didn’t give up. He continued running the newest available blood tests and added a few clinical tests. After a few appointments, he placed me on Mestinon and I saw immediate improvement. Although I continued to show negative to blood markers for MG, he was able to diagnose me with the clinical tests and my marked improvement upon taking Mestinon.
I have always been amazed at how much time my neurologist spends with me during appointments and how willing he is to answer my questions. He doesn’t sugar coat things, and he doesn’t make mountains out of mole hills either. He calls it as he sees it. He also hasn’t given up on finding the best treatment plan for me. We’re currently pursuing a newly discovered avenue that may help determine the type of MG I have and may open up additional options for my treatment. So, two jackpots in the same year!
I hope you’re having as good as luck with your doctors. I know how frustrating it can be when you can’t get answers. There have been times in my past where I’ve been ready to give up. There have also been times when I wondered if my doctor thought I was crazy, or worse yet, making it all up. I’m sure every doctor has run into a patient or two who would do that, but if they spend the proper amount of time with those patients, they figure out whether the patient is being genuine or not.
If you’re enjoying your relationship with your doctor, make sure you let them know how much you appreciate them. They’re human, too. They want and need to know when they’re helping their patients and making a difference in their lives. When they deserve compliments, make sure they hear them. After all, a compliment left unsaid is wasted.
If you’re struggling in your relationship with your doctor, then you really need to find out why. Is it them, or is it you?
Before you can point fingers, you need to make sure you’re being a proper patient. Are you taking your medications exactly as prescribed? Are you doing the things your doctor has told you to do? Are you avoiding the things your doctor has told you to avoid? Are you keeping a log of your symptoms, so you don’t forget to discuss them? Are you writing down questions, so you don’t forget to ask them? When your doctor asks questions, are you answering them honestly? If you can say “Yes” to all those questions, then it probably isn’t you.
If your doctor is too busy to spend any time with you during an appointment, then that’s probably a red flag. I realize doctors are very busy and can’t spend an inordinate amount of time with each patient, but they should at least spend the amount of time necessary to fully assess what’s going on and to answer your questions.
Do you leave your appointment with more questions that you came with? That also might be a red flag. At your next appointment, tell your doctor if you don’t understand something. If necessary, ask them to repeat instructions they’ve given you.
The most important determination: Do you feel comfortable with your doctor? It’s a relationship that works both ways. You need to respect your doctor, but they need to respect you, as well. If you’re walking out of your appointments feeling like you’re in good hands, then you’ve found the right doctor.
We’re dog people. We’ve had Standard Poodles almost our whole lives. When we move and need to find a new veterinarian, we talk to people who live in the area and find out who they recommend. At our first appointment with a new vet, we not only watch to see how the vet handles our dogs, but how well their staff handles our dogs, as well. If this new vet is pleasant and easy to work with, is thorough and genuinely cares about our dogs, and is capable of providing all the care and services our dogs will need, then we have successfully found a new vet.
Why should we expect anything less of our doctors? After all, we don’t know much about them prior to our first visit. In some cases, we came to them because their light was on.