Stephen Covey released his book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” in 1989. As you would expect, the book describes the seven habits highly effective people use to make them more effective.
The seven habits include: 1. Be Proactive, 2. Begin with the End in Mind, 3. Put First Things First, 4. Think Win/Win, 5. Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood, 6. Synergize, and finally 7. Sharpen the Saw.
If you haven’t read the book, I’d highly recommend it. There’s a lot of good content. I was first introduced to “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” when a company I was working for at the time used it in their World Class Leadership program, of which I was fortunate enough to attend.
Of all the leadership books I’ve read over the years, “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” is my favorite. I’ve used the book numerous times in training I’ve conducted for the leadership teams I’ve worked with. I even included some excerpts from “7 Habits” in one of the books I wrote: “What’s In It For Me?”.
Stephen Covey passed away in 2012 at the age of 79, but his theories are just as relevant and valuable today as they were they day he wrote them.
One of the examples Covey used in his book stuck with me more than all the others. That’s the theory of “Making Deposits into Peoples’ Emotional Bank Accounts”. I’m going to quote Covey here because no one can say it as well as he did.
“We all know what a financial bank account is. We make deposits into it and build up a reserve from which we can make withdrawals when we need to. An Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship. It’s the feeling of safeness you have with another human being.”
Allow me to put that in perspective using my own interpretation. Relationships with others are like bank accounts. We start with a zero balance, but as we begin to positively interact with another person, we start building a relationship with them and making deposits into their emotional bank account. The more deposits we make, the safer the person feels with us.
New friendships are frequently like that. We’re cordial to each other and do nice things for each other as we get to know the person. As that friendship grows, the balance in their emotional bank account that we’ve deposited grows higher and higher. At some point, whether intentionally or unintentionally, we make a withdrawal. Maybe you needed a favor or maybe you unintentionally hurt their feelings. You just made a withdrawal. Hopefully your balance was large enough to prevent you from becoming overdrawn. Your bank doesn’t appreciate it very much when you overdraw your checking account and your friend may not like it very much either. If your checking account is fairly new and you overdraw it a few times, your bank will likely close your account. If your friendship is fairly new and you keep overdrawing on their emotional bank account, your friend is more than likely going to start looking for a new friend.
The same holds true for family members. Blood may make them a little more tolerant, but overdraw their emotional bank account too many times and they will likely shy away from you, as well.
The best way to keep your relationships with family and friends strong is to make sure you’ve made plenty of deposits. That way, should the day come when you intentionally or unintentionally make a withdrawal, your balance should be high enough that you won’t become overdrawn.
So, what does this have to do with Myasthenia Gravis? It has EVERYTHING to do with Myasthenia Gravis. You know you will have days when you’re not feeling the best. You may be grumpy and impatient. You don’t really mean to be this way; it just somehow seems to happen. WITHDRAWAL! If you’re grumpy or short with someone with whom you have a positive emotional bank account balance, chances are they will overlook it and forgive you. If you act that way too many times, you just might find yourself in an overdraft situation.
The time may come up when you need someone’s help. Maybe you need your medication from the pharmacy, but you’re unable to go pick it up, so you ask a friend or loved one to pick it up for you. WITHDRAWAL! They may be glad to do it, but if you go to the well too many times, even that well will eventually run dry.
How do you maintain a positive balance in each person’s emotional bank account? You make a deposit every chance you possibly can. I talk a lot about being the sunshine in the room, the person that always wears a smile. Deposits are made when you create an environment people want to be in. When you’re cheerful, you make others cheerful. When they need a friend, you can be the friend they need.
Think about it. Which scenario sounds best to you? A dark, dank room with a victim who wallows in self-pity and is negative about everything in life, or a bright well-lit room where positivity thrives and smiles are infectious.
So, throw open those shades, put on a smile and make some deposits in peoples’ emotional bank accounts. Should you ever need to make a withdrawal, your balance will be easily able to handle it.