Inheritance: Part 2 – Principles

As I stated in my previous blog, we use perceptions, principles and values to guide us through life. We’ve already talked about perceptions and discussed how perceptions can change based upon observations. We develop a perception rather quickly. We then either keep that perception or modify it based upon additional observations. In other words, perceptions can change quite rapidly.

Today we’re going to discuss principles. A principle is a fundamental belief that serves as a chain of reasoning and proves to be accurate over and over again. We use principles to make life changing decisions and they help keep us on a firm path for as long as that principle remains important. So, they usually last longer than perceptions. Principles, however, may change at any time in the course of a lifetime and we’ll continue to develop new principles throughout our lives.

Let me give you an example using a young boy we’ll call Jack. At the age of 5, Jack is learning all sorts of new things. His parents are getting him involved in sports, and like many young kids, sports start to play a very important role in his life. His dad was a high school and college standout football player and Jack sees football in his future. As he grows, he learns new skills, practices hard and follows his favorite NFL team. He dreams of the day he will be playing football in the NFL. Football has become his life and has now become a principle that is guiding him. Oftentimes our goals in life become principles as they guide us down specific paths. Jack will live football until such time that he achieves his dream or a new principle takes him down a different path.

Let’s say that because of Jack’s hard work, he becomes a peewee football star. He plays junior high and then high school football and again, he is a star on each of those teams. But then something changes. In his senior year of high school, Jack suffers a minor knee injury and an orthopedic doctor helps him get through it. Jack was so impressed with the work that doctor was doing that he realizes he’d like to pursue a career in orthopedics and become an orthopedic surgeon.

He continued to play football his senior year of high school, but suddenly it was less important that it had once been. His principle changed. His new guiding principle is to become an orthopedic surgeon. If strong enough, that principle will guide him through college, through medical school and make him a successful orthopedic surgeon.

As you make decisions during your life, you used principles as a chain of reasoning. You applied what was important to you in the situation you were facing at the time. Just like Jack changed his principles when something else become more important to him than football, you’ve probably changed your principles a few times during your life based upon what appeared to be the most important path for you.

When your principles changed, your chain of reasoning evolved to include updated criteria. Sometimes our new principles lead us to changing course in life, like Jack did when he jumped from football to medicine, but sometimes we don’t abandon an old principle entirely in order to adopt a new principle. We simply add new principles and assign their priority.

Prior to retiring, my wife and I bought a home in North Carolina. It was in a lovely, gated community with access to golf, restaurants, a marina and a private beach on the ocean. My wife moved there first while I finished out my working career. This allowed us time to make improvements to the house and add a pool so it would be the perfect retirement home for us. The plan was to purchase a boat and I would spend my days out on the water fishing while my wife basked at the pool. That was a goal for us, a principle. It was guiding all of our decisions. We wanted to retire where it was warm, but not too hot in the summer and cool, but not cold in the winter. It fit that category perfectly.

I finally retired and moved to North Carolina to join my wife and enjoy paradise. The only thing was we weren’t getting to see our grandson grow up. Although we would fly in for birthdays and some holidays, he was growing much too quickly and we were missing it. When our daughter announced she was pregnant with our second grandchild, all of a sudden boats and beaches and pools seemed less important. Our principles were evolving. We decided to sell the home in NC and move to Louisiana to be closer to them.

Those of you who have been reading my blogs know that I had been suspect for Myasthenia Gravis for many years and it had gone into remission. After getting COVID-19, the MG came out of remission and hit me pretty hard. Suddenly I had worse symptoms than I had ever had before. I was sent to a neurologist who diagnosed me and got me on medication. Today, I live with MG and it, too, has changed my principles.

One of the principles I changed was how I listened to my body. I wasn’t very good at that before and it didn’t seem that important. It’s become extremely important now and I have to adapt to my changing conditions. It used to be that when I went out to work in the yard, I would work until the job was done. Now, I have to take breaks because pushing my body to its limits is no longer doable. Instead of going from “tired” to “really tired” like I used to, I now go from “tired” to “exhausted”, skipping the “really tired” stage completely. I also have learned I have to schedule activities differently. I used to have a full day in my schedule to get things done. Now I have to take breaks, take naps and do what I can, maybe even having to finish the job on another day. I’ve evolved with my circumstances. I’ve evolved in my principles.

I’m sure your life with Myasthenia Gravis is now quite different than it was before. MG doesn’t mean we have to give up on all our goals; it just means we may have to approach them differently. Into our list of principles (and yes, we normally have more than one principle going on at any one time), we have added MG. Take our medicines. Get plenty of rest. Eat properly. Stay active. Maybe we should have observed these practices a long time ago and maybe MG just helped get us there. In any event, our principles are guiding us down our path of life. Someday, they may change and that’s okay, too. Some principles are worth changing.

So, what about inheritance? Did you know that your children, your grandchildren and even your friends pick up on your principles? Some of them might even start using one or more of your principles as their own. You know how people are often teased about “You’re just like your mother/father”? There’s a reason for that. We’ve picked up some of their principles. Maybe you always made your children make their bed before they left for school in the morning. Do your children make their children do the same thing? Maybe you always baked cookies a certain way or baked a certain cookie for certain holidays. Do your kids still bake those cookies? Maybe you always got the family up to go to church on Sunday mornings. Do your kids get the family up to go to church on Sunday mornings? The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

We pass on a lot of principles. Not all of them, but some. Some principles will change and some new ones will be added. Principles help guide us through life and help us do whatever we need to do to make life the best it can be.