Sometimes It’s Okay to Say “No”

I’m sadly going to miss the wedding of a relative today. We had RSVP’d to attend and were looking forward to it, but our house recently sold and moving day is right around the corner. 

Having Myasthenia Gravis, I no longer have unlimited energy. I do what I can, but I have learned not to overdo it. That sometimes means I have to limit activity to preserve energy. That also means, in some cases, I have to say “No”.

We originally planned to fly to the wedding, which would have ended up being a three-day trip. Traveling takes a lot out of me and with our move date rapidly approaching, I have to allocate my energy carefully. In this case, I didn’t feel as if I’d be able to handle both the wedding and packing, so we had to reverse our RSVP.

I’m truly sorry I’m going to miss the wedding, but having MG makes me take energy limitations into consideration. Getting too run down will not only make my symptoms worse, but it also makes my immune system weaker and prone to colds, etc. I know my family will understand, it’s just that I hate to miss it.

Sometimes it’s okay to say “No”. Everybody needs to understand this, but especially those that are dealing with a chronic condition. There are only so many hours in a day, and there is only so much energy you have available. When you go to the well too many times, when you push yourself beyond your limits, you’re flirting with disaster.

I once had a boss who learned he could rely on me to get things done. I became his “go to person” because he knew I would not let him down. The problem was, he started coming to me with everything, and being the good soldier, I had a hard time telling him “No”. I went to a seminar and discussed this in a side bar with one of the speakers. His advice to me was to tell my boss, “I can do anything; I can’t do everything.”

That was good advice. When we overload ourselves or continuously push ourselves to the limit, eventually we’re either going to wear out or burn out. That will either result in less than desired results or complete collapse. That’s not good for anyone.

By understanding our limits and adhering to them, we remain productive and protect ourselves at the same time. 

Think of it this way. A marathoner doesn’t run 4-minute miles for their first few miles. They pace themselves so they have enough energy left to finish the race. They usually try to maintain a pace of 5.2 to 6.9 minutes per mile. Pushing too hard could result in not being able to finish the race. Not pushing hard enough means they probably won’t finish near the top among their competitors.

If you have MG, that’s the way you need to think about your life. You need to find that sweet spot. Push too hard and you’ll be down for the count. Don’t push hard enough and you won’t get anything done. Once you understand this concept, you quickly learn that you can do anything; you just can’t do everything. That means sometimes you have to say “No”. Sometimes you need to turn down invitations. Sometimes you need to skip something. While we all like to be there for everyone else, sometimes you need to be there for yourself.

Just make sure you don’t use “No” as a crutch. When you consistently say “No”, people quit inviting you.