That’s the lesson Elsa Mendoza taught her son, Fernando, from a very young age. She said, “Toughness doesn’t need to be loud. It can be quiet and strong.”
If you watched the College National Championship Football Game last night, you saw that quote play out. The Indiana Hoosiers won the National Championship while also going 16-0 (no losses) for the season. This from a team that in previous years struggled to get 5 wins on the season. All that changed with the hiring of Coach Cignetti and his belief in Fernando Mendoza. Not only did Mendoza help lead his team to a perfect season and a National Championship, but he won the Heisman Trophy along the way and is almost assured to be the number one draft pick in the NFL draft.
There were three things that really impressed me about Fernando Mendoza. The first was his faith in God. After the game, he started every interview honoring the “glory of God”. He was proud to let his faith show. The second was how he gave everything he had in every single game I watched him play this year. He took some amazingly hard hits in a lot of those games but continued to bounce back up to lead his team. The third is how he personified the lessons his mother had taught him. He came away from this game bruised, battered and bloodied, but he never complained. He proved toughness doesn’t need to be loud.
The reason this struck home to me was the lady who taught him this, his mother Elsa. She was a college tennis champion herself. Eighteen years ago, she was afflicted with Multiple Sclerosis. In 2020, her symptoms worsened and she became confined to a wheelchair after a bout with COVID-19. In spite of her condition, she can be seen at nearly every game cheering on her son.
“Toughness doesn’t need to be loud. It can be quiet and strong.” A few times during each game, the cameras will show Fernando’s mother as she beams with pride watching her son play. She doesn’t ask for attention, and she doesn’t put on a show for the cameras. She’s focused on her son. She quietly displays her toughness.
That’s a lesson for all of us with Myasthenia Gravis or any medical condition. Toughness is required, but it doesn’t need to be loud. It can be quiet and strong.
Imagine the strength and courage it takes for her to attend all his games. The amazing part is she does so gracefully, stoically, supportively, and lovingly. There is nothing more important to her than to let her son know she is rooting for him. She puts her own needs and comforts aside. She never complains because toughness doesn’t need to be loud.
The next time I feel the need to whine or complain, I’m going to remember the words of Elsa Mendoza. I’m going to be tough, but I’m not yelling it from the roof tops. I’ll do so being quiet and strong. Strength comes from within and you are only able to really tap that strength when you’re completely in control of your emotions and your actions.
Let’s face it, Myasthenia Gravis isn’t easy, but we’re tough. We choose to stand toe to toe with MG and not give in. I may not be able to fight the symptoms, but I can fight the way I respond to the symptoms. I can choose not to give up. I can choose to fight. I can choose to be tough. And I will do so quietly with the strength that comes from inside. When I slip and allow my toughness to become loud, I’m unable to hear that voice from within that’s trying to provide me with the strength and courage to keep going. When I’m loud, I’m reacting. Instead of being in control, I am allowing my emotions to take over. For that reason alone, I realize I need quiet if I am to draw on my inner strength. Loud doesn’t listen. Toughness doesn’t need to be loud.
So, thank you, Elsa Mendoza, for raising such an amazing son. Thank you also for sharing a lesson all of us need to hear. May God grant you healing and continued strength and may He continue to shower you and your family with abundant blessings.
Remember how I’ve been telling you that in spite of illnesses and limitations, God has a plan for us? Can you see the plan He has for Elsa Mendoza? I, for one, think she’s doing it extremely well.