Today, as we continue on our journey of looking at Myasthenia Gravis through the eyes of love, we’re going to be talking about self-love. It’s a very complex aspect of love. Some have too much and some have too little.
I’m sure you’ve known someone in your life who always put others first. They worked tirelessly to make sure you and everyone around them were taken care of. Perhaps this was a mother, a father, a grandparent, a teacher, or someone else. They found joy in tending to the needs and wants of others.
I’m also sure that you’ve known someone who was all about themselves. As long as they were getting whatever they needed, life was tolerable. But if they weren’t getting what they wanted or thought they deserved, it was pretty difficult being around them. You probably watched these people taking advantage of others. Their goal was to find satisfaction for themselves regardless of how others were treated.
Where do you draw the line? When am I being selfish and when am I failing to properly take care of myself?
Your first hint comes from logic. No one wants to be around someone who is only out for themselves. A narcissist leaves a lot of collateral damage and their relationships normally don’t last that long. On the other hand, everyone wants to be around someone who is giving and concerned about the well-being of others. But if taking care of others means you’re not taking care of yourself, that can be just as dangerous.
So, what’s the right amount of self-love?
I wish I had a magic scale that could calculate how much self-love is appropriate, but I’ve not yet found it and perhaps it doesn’t even exist. Instead, we have to rely on common sense. There are times when you need to take care of yourself, especially for someone with a chronic condition like Myasthenia Gravis. When there’s no strength left, you have no strength to give and trying to do more than you’re physically, mentally, or emotionally capable of giving will make your symptoms worse. Going beyond what you’re capable can lead to relapses and even a myasthenia crisis.
I’ve noticed there are times when I feel like I’ve hit a wall. My strength is zapped, my mind is foggy, and emotionally, I’m not capable of taking on any additional input. I know that pushing myself beyond this point is dangerous. I also realize that it’s time for a little self-love. Perhaps I’ll have to withdraw from the activity, perhaps I’ll have to turn down an invitation, perhaps I’ll have to say “no” to a request.
It’s kind of like your cell phone. When it runs out of battery, it no longer functions. The only thing you can do at that point is recharge it. When your body runs out of battery, as it often does with Myasthenia Gravis, you need to recharge. Maybe that means getting off your legs, maybe it means a nap, maybe it just means withdrawing from a loud or chaotic situation. You may not prefer to withdraw, but your body is telling you that’s what is needed and listening to your body is a form of self-love.
For me, self-love includes taking care of others because I find joy in doing so, but I’ve also learned that taking care of myself means listening to what my body is telling me. Self-love means being able to say “no” sometimes. Self-love means advocating for yourself with your doctors and caregivers. Self-love means recognizing when you start feeling depressed and resetting your mind to more positive things. Self-love means giving your concerns to God knowing He will help you through any challenge.
How can you practice self-love without becoming selfish? When others matter, you’re not being selfish. Just don’t allow generosity to outweigh self-care. It’s a balance. Sometimes the scale will tip a little more in one direction, but as long as it comes back to center, you’ll be just fine.
Practicing self-love is a variable and complex challenge. We’ll talk more about self-love in my next blog. In the meantime, make sure you’re taking care of yourself and that includes nurturing your relationship with others. Until then, stay strong, stay positive, stay #MGStrong!